{"id":336,"date":"2021-03-24T22:24:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-24T21:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/?p=336"},"modified":"2021-02-24T22:30:37","modified_gmt":"2021-02-24T21:30:37","slug":"the-labrador-the-cat-and-the-vet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/the-labrador-the-cat-and-the-vet\/","title":{"rendered":"The Labrador, the cat and the vet."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A woman brings a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lays her beloved pet duck on the table, the vet puts his stethoscope to the bird\u2019s chest and listens carefully. A moment later the vet shakes his head and says sadly, \u201c<em>I\u2019m really sorry mam, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.<\/em>\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman becomes quite distressed and begins to cry.\u201c<em>Are you sure?<\/em>\u201d she says with tears flooding from her eyes. \u201c<em>Yes mam, I am sure<\/em>\u201d the vet responds. \u201c<em>Your duck is definitely dead.<\/em>\u201c \u201c<em>But how can you be so sure?<\/em>\u201d the woman protests. \u201c<em>I mean, you haven\u2019t done any testing on him or anything have you? Perhaps he\u2019s just stunned or in a coma or something.\u201d<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A few minutes later he returns with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck\u2019s owner looks on in amazement, the Labrador stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table and sniffs around the duck from top to bottom. He then looks up at the vet with sad eyes and shakes his head. The vet pats the dog on the head and takes it out of the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A few minutes later the vet returns with a cat. The cat jumps on the table and delicately sniffs at the bird from its head to its feet. After a moment the cat looks up, shakes its head, meows softly and strolls out of the room. The vet looks at the woman and says, \u201c<em>Look mam I\u2019m really sorry, but as I said before, this is most definitely a duck that is no longer of this world. Your duck is dead.<\/em>\u201c The vet shrugs his shoulders and says, \u201c<em>I\u2019m sorry mam. If you\u2019d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. However with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it\u2019s now $150.<\/em>\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The vet then turns to his computer terminal, hits a few keys and produces a bill, which he hands to the woman. The duck\u2019s owner, still in shock, looks at the bill and sees it is $150. \u201c<em>$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!<\/em>\u201d she shrieks with incredulity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The vet shrugs his shoulders and says, \u201c<em>I\u2019m sorry mam. If you\u2019d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. However with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it\u2019s now $150.<\/em>\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized is-style-default\"><a href=\"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/vet-cartoon.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/vet-cartoon.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-337\" width=\"491\" height=\"675\" srcset=\"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/vet-cartoon.jpg 654w, https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/vet-cartoon-218x300.jpg 218w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 491px) 100vw, 491px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A woman brings a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lays her beloved pet duck on the table, the vet puts his stethoscope to the bird\u2019s chest and listens carefully. A moment later the vet shakes his head and says sadly, \u201cI\u2019m really sorry mam, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.\u201c [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-animals"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=336"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":339,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions\/339"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}