{"id":348,"date":"2021-04-24T22:48:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-24T20:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/?p=348"},"modified":"2021-02-24T22:54:34","modified_gmt":"2021-02-24T21:54:34","slug":"the-yuppie-and-the-cowboy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/the-yuppie-and-the-cowboy\/","title":{"rendered":"The Yuppie and the Cowboy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My good friend Jack Bax is working as a cowboy on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming. One day as he\u2019s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process. The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and says to the cowboy, \u201cIf I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?<\/em>\u201c <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Jack\u00a0looks at the man, who\u2019s obviously a yuppie, he then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and responds calmly, \u201cSure, why not?<\/em>\u201c The yuppie then whips out a very impressive iPhone 11 Pro smartphone from his jacket pocket and begins to surf the NASA website. Simultaneously he uses the GPS satellite to get the exact coordinates of his location. He then feeds that back to Google Earth to capture a high-resolution image of this location.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The young man then opens the digital image in Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Langley, Virginia. Within seconds, he receives an email to his iPhone 11 Pro to confirm that the image has been processed and the data captured and stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet and, after a few minutes, receives a response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally he uses an AirPrint printer located in his car to print out a full-color, 150-page report. He then turns to Jack, hands him the report and says, \u201cSir, you\u2019ll see from the Executive Summary that you have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.<\/em>\u201c \u201cThat\u2019s right<\/em>,\u201d says Jack. \u201cI guess you can take one of my calves.<\/em>\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jack then watches with amusement as the young man struggles to get the animal into the trunk of his car. After a minute or two, Jack says to the guy, \u201cHey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my calf back?<\/em>\u201c The young man thinks for a second and then he says, \u201cSure, why not?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a Congressman for the US Government<\/em>\u201c, says Jack. \u201cWow! That\u2019s correct,<\/em>\u201d says the yuppie, \u201cbut how did you guess that?<\/em>\u201c \u201cNo guessing required son,<\/em>\u201d Jack responded. \u201cYou showed up here even though nobody called you; you want paying for an answer I already know; to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars-worth of equipment trying to show me how smart you are; and you don\u2019t know a thing about how ordinary, working people make a living, or about cows for that matter.\u00a0If you did you\u2019d know that this herd is actually a flock of sheep. Now give me back my dog.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My good friend Jack Bax is working as a cowboy on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming. One day as he\u2019s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process. The car stops and the driver is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":350,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[90],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":351,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions\/351"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/the-wiseguy.com\/Readzzz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}